When I was stuck in the abuse for over a quarter of a century, I knew it was wrong, but I did not have a name for it. I knew of marriages, like my parents, which did not have all of the friction and chaos. But, I kept praying, hoping, looking, trying harder, and expecting God to change the abuser’s heart and instead, He chose to break my heart. Finally, on year twenty-two of the marriage, I learned of the term emotional abuse and then stepped into counseling to try to salvage the marriage.
10 ways to move past emotional abuse.
And a question to ask, is emotional pain growing within you? If so, get help!
(I am a grief loss and life purpose coach, not a counselor, and a woman that lived in abuse as an adult. I know it well. However, I chose to face it, get help, and grew to live beyond its grip. YOU too can learn to live beyond its grip.)
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You have to want to get past emotional pain to live without it and experience contentment, joy, peace, adventure, satisfaction, clarity, focus with purpose. Doggedly, you have to want to change out all the junk for the good.
2. You have to be honest and not stay stuck in denial, so you can go forward in life.
3. Admit it, you were/are abused. This can be so hard for women to admit.
4. Grieve the relationship that you did not have. This will take time, much time. To gut it out.
5. Get into counseling and/or coaching. Again, this will take time. Emotional abuse can be a leftover, like a long tail, which is left from being abused as a child, and now you are adult, but so stuck emotionally, like a brick sits inside your head. That brick needs to be lifted and come out of you, so you can grow up emotionally and well.
6. Unlearn the old ways of how you lived in the abuse and with the abuser. Again, this will take time and trusted people to help you. But, these are the main places where women get stuck from coming out of the abuse.
- Second guessing.
- Self-doubt
- Shame
- Reacting over and over and over
- Negating oneself
- Indecisiveness–and if you choose to wait and not make a + decision, anxiety usually grows> you are still stuck!
- Own your own junk or stuff and starve it out of you.
7. Learn the truth, the Word of God, and how we are to live. It takes time.
8. Learn how to apply the Truth. This is transformational to bring you back to live your life.
9. Keep forgiving and do not get bitter.
10. It takes work, want to, and persistence to gut it out, get real, to gain traction to turn your pain into purpose! And so worth it to LIVE!
A reminder, I am not a counselor, these are 10 suggestions to help you get your life turned around and headed in the right direction!
What step can you take?
I suggest this coaching program if you want to gut it out with me . Live Beyond Emotional Pain with some joy!
Or, this course if you are further down the road with your healing journey .Live your life purpose!
