How to face a divorce?
Watching a spouse walk out the door, children and/or teens following a role model they idolize while a wife holds her breathe and prays for help is a scene often repeated in our homes today.
( And if you are a man reading this, please know I understand women walk out of marriages too.) But, I write for the needs of women.
Divorce is the dismantling of a family. Dismantle means to take to pieces or to destroy the function of a family. Indeed divorce delivers that definition.
One by one the ripple effects of a divorce impacts each family member. Pain implodes upon each individual causing a husband, a wife, a son, and a daughter to process the pain individually.
I, like many women have found myself, On a Road to Divorce. I live in a state where anyone can file for a divorce whether one party wants it or not, it happens. If you burned the toast, had bad breath, or a lazy lame lie, I did not know who I married, a spouse can file for divorce.
(This post is not to focus on why the divorce occurred or who initiated it, but this post is to help a woman step toward the divorce to the next step).
Divorce is a living death.
- Recognize the pain and that truth… Divorce is a living death.
- You may have been deceived
- Betrayed
- He has hidden his addictions
- Yes, you taste rejection
- You feel replaced
- You heart tears apart for your children’s pain, after all who in their right mind as a mom desires that their children suffer? I did not.
- You will experience grief galore.
- The marriage home will collapse, one way or the other.
- Holidays are torn up to some degree
- Menus go up in smoke!
- Vacations gone as they were
- Funerals – yep, even changes that dynamics.
- Future weddings to attend may be painful.
- Anger erupts- Pour it out
- Alone, but not if you have the Lord.
- Loneliness, yes, but did you have that feeling in your marriage? So learn to heal in that emotional area.
- Own where you failed and how to grow from that spot.
- Seek legal counsel.
- Seek mental therapy.
- Seek coaching.
- Seek wisdom from wise people
- Do not start another relationship and run from one man to another.
- Boundaries are a must
- Get into Divorce Care, however, make certain the church and the leaders (MEN) are honest and not users and men posturing to find a new female fling of a woman. ( I have heard of this more than once.) However, where I attended Divorce Care boundaries were everywhere and it was so wise!
- IF you stay moldable, God will use this pain.
- Learn from it.
- Give yourself time to process.
- Vindication – let God do His work, He will
- Choose to forgive, grow better, not bitter.
The best thing you can do is discover who you are and what your life purpose is. Why not do this? I would love to hear your heart. Free 30 minutes!
