I was starved for a more meaningful purpose for my existence. However, my enemy spoke contrary and fear was the weapon being used to control me. And the web of fear was all over me STOPPING ME and sticking to me from living, really living. I was tired and tied up in a chaotic life. I felt tortured and trapped and ached to feel whole and to be set free to be me.
How though? Could I change?
Then death arrived up-close.
It stole two lives, my father and youngest brother within three years, both instant—cardiac deaths. My youngest brother’s death, at the age of forty, JOLTED me–WAKE up!
I was on a search to know why I was still alive and what was all this emotional pain about!?!
I chose to investigate my life.
I thought if any good could come from his early unexpected death, I wanted it discovered. And if need be, let it begin with me.
Awareness is the first step to change!
My emotional pain was killing me. I lived in emotional abuse where I was ignored and my voice was dismissed. No one knew, yet, but only those that lived in the house on the hill of abuse.
It was covert abuse.
I anchored to one verse, “Apart from me you can do nothing” John 15:5b.
I began with me, the only one I could change. I attached myself to Truth. I knew God. I chose to read, believe, and practice the Bible. And I read. I studied. I taught and coached myself, step by step.
Second, I needed to learn a few crucial things.
I ordered a book. I desperately needed to know how to confront the person who bred the fear in my life. I longed to voice my decision and stay standing. The book arrived. I read the first few pages. I hated it! Full of too many verses with preachy words, “should, could, ought to, better,” my shame mounted. I pitched it. I figured God would not want me reading a book that made me feel worse-off. He already knew I was begging for help.
Third, I tried another book. Bingo, this author knew how to write and teach. I read one page, then another, and another. I marked it up. Dog eared the pages.
Fourth, I practiced. I spoke out. I blew it. I fell down. I reread that chapter. I practiced again. I spoke. I stayed determined—and I kept on implementing boundaries.
Fifth, I changed.
Sixth, I grew. I had a speaking engagement in Chicago, but the company backed out so I cancelled my flight. At the last minute the company called, “We need you.” Ugh, I needed to drive to Chicago. That was a bit out there for me but, I needed to take a risk. Apart from me you can do nothing.
My growth continued and a hunger for my life purpose mounted.
Next, I sought out a Life Purpose Coach®. She coached me. I stepped forward. I changed. I contacted a counselor. She believed me. I heeded my counselor’s wise advice!
After discovering my life purpose I started my own business as a Life Purpose Coach ®. I hung my life on that one verse, Apart from me you can do nothing.
Once upon a time I repeatedly said, “I can’t.” Now, I state, “I can!” My brother’s early death brought me back—to life.
I know how to transition from “old ways” to new. You can as well.
We are not to live by our past but live from our potential. We can only connect our dots backwards, not forward. Take a step! It is all by faith.
What is your desire? Do you want to know your life purpose or who you are?
Be coached… Who am I?
