Loneliness can be a heart pain that gnaws and claws from within. During the holidays it can scream!

Loneliness was at its height when I lived in an abusive marriage.

My loneliness pain of being and doing life alone yet married was incredibly hurtful. It grew so much PAIN! And I do believe that is the MOST painful thing to go through, as in marriage you assume you have connection and conversation and there is a caring person you married.

But in covert abuse, only one controls the shots and he did.  Even the topics, and if I brought up something that was not on his topic talk list, I was told I could not discuss it and/or he scrambled the talks and we never finished a conversation. Conversations were like walking through a landmine.  So I get loneliness well. It almost swallowed me up whole!

BUT GOD…

So how did I do being alone, yet married,  and how did I do the loneliness that wanted to consume me?

6 steps to handle loneliness during the holidays!

1. I did a lot of work alone with the Lord to help me with the loneliness ache. I talked to God as if he stood right beside me. Yes, I talked to GOD. Do you see that, GOD? What do I do?

And if you are  in mourning, grieving, and overwhelmed and downright tired of life, I still suggest you do number one. God is real and GOD does care about you. And if you think I am just a bit of hot air read my first book. Enable Me, Lord, to Shift, book #1

2. The verse that I marinated myself in was Hebrews 13:5b… “ for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.” Tis true! I believe and I looked and still do for GOD to show up to help me. And He did and still does.

3. Psalm 139 I began to memorize and I spoke this TRUTH aloud into my soul that Jesus was with me day in and day out, day in and day out, and day in and day out.

4. Get outside and take a walk. That opens our eyes up to a BIG world that only GOD is in control.  Like this picture of this tree and the bird nest. DID you know that GOD loves us more than the birds? And He even knows when one bird falls to the ground.

5. Reach out to someone else that might be hurting. Phone. Call. Visit. A human touch point. Not online. We need human touch points.

6. Talk to people you see, a neighbor, someone at the store and wish them a Merry Christmas. These are just beginning steps, it takes work to fill the ache in a good way. And if you are struggling with loneliness, then join my other clients that are reaching out to get real, get raw, to gain traction this holiday season .Get guidance and a listening ear!

Which of these steps will you walk out?