Holidays heighten abuse.

Years ago, when I lived in the House on the Hill and in a marriage of abuse I learned to set boundaries. My heart had been shredded from the longevity and chronicity of the mental and emotional abuse I lived in for over a quarter of a century.

Emotional pain climbs.

Loneliness, sadness, fear, grief, loss, chaos, and crazy making shoot to the top of the pain charts during the holidays. Especially when you think, all other families are having the time of their life.

Throw in alcohol, food, shopping, porn, gluttony, sex, expectations, and add in social media and digital additions and it’s crazy. Just is.

And if there’s a spouse, dad, mom, uncle, aunt, great uncle or great aunt, cousin, sibling or you name who, and they go on the hunt for a sexual victim, look out!!

 I personally think a lot of sexual abuse and other abuse happens during the holidays when all the parties occur!

Be wise. Safe. And even in a church too and in church families.

Set boundaries.


  1. Shrink the time you spend with anyone you sense is abusive or toxic.
    • The abuser zeros in on you.
    • The abuser blames you.
    • The abuser creates chaos and wants to trap you in that.
  2. Do not debate them.
  3. Do not get caught up in their problems or chaos. If they create the issue, do not pick it up.

To help you do something of purpose for you, remove yourself at the most pain filled times to find something of purpose to do.

One thing I did years back, I went to my bedroom, shut the door, and played Christian music. I hid out in a quiet room. Another time I hid out in the bathroom. Quiet. Peace.

I help women laser focus on truth to convert their pain of betrayal, loss, and grief to purpose. And I would love to hear your story to help lead you through the grief and loss, and forward to purpose with joy and all during the holidays as well!

You were created for more than to be used. Book 20 minutes of coaching!

What boundary do you need to set for the holidays?