The holidays bring out all kinds of reactions from people. And people you see over the holidays maybe emotionally unsafe.  Be wise. Be careful. Learn these three tips to recognize an unsafe person.

  1. Watch for quick flattery from a person before you even know them! Abusers and toxic people love to use flattery to win you over to their side. And you may think, they are a nice person. Well not really, it’s manipulative. And they’re stroking you to get you to side with them. Especially, if you just met them. Be so careful!

  2. Watch for the word, you! When abusers get ticked, look out, as the finger pointing comes toward you. You better do this. You could change this. You need to do this. You should have done this…

  3. And YOU, being a kind person will try harder to please. After all, you’re kind and understanding. That is who you are, plus you are responsible. LOOK OUT! Toxic people know how to suck from enablers. And enablers are kind, understanding, hardworking individuals, who are very responsible and often have goals of their own in life and are achievers. They have a lot going for them and it’s like the abuser knows how to find these people and saddles up to them to use them. Be wise this holiday season.

Something that is a priceless piece of wisdom that I learned years ago.

If you did not help create the problem, it’s not yours to pick up. DO NOT enable.

And if you are stuck in life with someone like this, reach out to learn to guard your heart with boundaries.

Get Real. Get Raw. Gain Traction with coach Darlene! Lonely. Toxic. HELP coaching!