Christmas time brings a mixed bag of emotions.

It’s something I’ve had to work through over the last 13 years of my life as my family was splintered and scattered.

Before I share more, I want to express my love and gratitude to my three adult children that may read their mom’s blog post. I am privileged to be a mom to three precious adults. All three are married and all three have littles. My grands range in age from 10 years old down to 18 months old. I love you and I miss you. How can I not think of you at Christmas or any other day?  

How do we navigate the memories that come up during the holidays? 

1. Recognize memories will occur.  I am fortunate I can look back on my childhood and growing up years and smile at Christmas or other holidays. My family was not a picture perfect family, but my parents did the best with what they could and with what they knew how to do with raising their five kids. I would give anything to thank them for all they taught me. And our Christmas’ time was blessed with few gifts, but a whole lot of love and church programs with food and family.

2. Give thanks to where and to whom you can. Honor memories. Speak thanks to GOD. With raising my children, I am so thankful, I baked, cooked, cleaned, crafted, and read book after book to my littles. I bought and wrapped their gifts and ran them to church Christmas programs. Oh, how I loved all of that good stuff, even though there was an undercurrent brewing in the family home. I miss the precious short time we had. I even sewed matching Christmas dresses, not once, but twice for my girls and me. Precious lives, times, love, and gifts from God.

3. Grieve if you need to. Yes, do grieve and weep and lament. The key is to ask Jesus into your pain and He will show up. “Lord, You have searched me and known me” (Psalm 139:1 NASB). He knows you and your story!

My advice if you are mom with littles in your home or a dad, please put your phone down. Your children are the most important investment you can give time to.

4.  Buy yourself a favorite gift or something that’ll offer you comfort and help you make a new memorable holiday time. I buy and drink hot cocoa that I used to give to my children in their stockings. It gives me a smile  and a connection. Some of the old traditions do not need to go away.

5. Do something for someone in need. It will help you shift from the old pain to the new. That does not mean you erase the old, as you can not. We only have one life, and it all counts. But, to be frank, give thanks and do good for others, as it will multiply your heart in a good way.

Which of these will you put into action?

And if you are in the depths of grief, do you need help to navigate this holiday? If so, I help women navigate their pain to purpose. Click Let’s chat!