Do the hard, but how? Doing the hard is putting a stake in the ground. Often I coach women to do the hard and to put a stake in the ground when the going gets rough and also to be like a memorial reminder, a physical reminder.
Meaning, I said this and I am not going to go back and live in the land of regrets, such as a lack of forgiveness, and/or bitterness.
Think of the comment, Erika Kirk said about the assassin who killed her husband. “I forgive him” through tears. She knew and knows she must do that in order to grow and go forward. She put a stake in the ground with this truth filled statement. That does not mean she will not grieve, oh my no, but she made a choice. A wise choice and to have close friends in her corner to hold her to that comment as she navigates the deep valley of grief.
There are times in my own journey, I have put stakes in the ground.
One, was when I met my first counselor, and she was a woman. I saw her for only three sessions as she told me, “Your husband will not come see me, Darlene, you need a man.” That was a light bulb moment of truth for me. Just wow! But what she said in only three sessions and it was either the second or third session that hit.
“You get bitter, Darlene, and God will put you on a shelf.” I knew right then and there and said to her. “I will not get bitter, I cannot waste the pain, the pain.”
I did see her years later at a conference where we both spoke and she also read my newsletter, so she knew if I was following through with my statement. And believe me, there were many times as I exposed the abuse, I wanted to hate, but I chose not. I know forgiveness is what is honoring to God.
I also have had several times, where and when I chose to ask forgiveness. And they were stakes in the ground that I stated, I was done wallowing in regrets and my own lack of tongue control.
I chose to own my own junk, and I was forgiving myself, and asked others to forgive me as well.
Therefore, I do not get hung up in the past.
Do you need to forgive someone?
Do you need to ask forgiveness from someone so you can grow and go forward?
When you work with me, you will learn how to do this, it is monumental; in order to use your pain for purpose.
Forgiveness is hard work. In Leading You Through the Valley; A Personalized Grief-loss Caching book, there is a chapter on forgiveness, and how a woman had to choose to forgive an extended family member for his sexual misconduct and plea for sex. Purchase here Darlene Larson
If a lack of forgiveness (and that can include forgiving yourself) is holding you hostage, work with me to be set free to grow and go forward .Do the Hard!
#Forgiveness #DarleneLarson #enablemelordtoshift #ENablemelordtoshift #Covertabuse #Emotinalabuse #mentalabuse #LeadingYouThroughtheValley
