Do you want to move beyond the emotional pain from a broken relationship?
Are you in emotional pain because of a fractured relationship with your adult child?
In this blog post, I am focusing on adult child relationships. The points at the bottom address any relationship! And if you sense your heart is broken, you are in the right spot.
Perhaps, sadness, loneliness, anger, and conversations in your head suck you into a pit. You sense that you are adrift and you don’t know how to move forward.
With regards to adult children…
If you, or your now adult child lived in abuse, such as mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, and or sexual abuse, your child was entangled, enmeshed, and learned lessons you wished they had not.
Or perhaps, your adult child married into family dynamics such as the above, and you as an in-law, or parent, are clueless to know what to do.
The adult child learned and picked up behaviors in his/her childhood home.
And if there was abuse, they picked up that wretched toxic behavior believing it was normal, yet knowing within, something was not right.
(This can be the dad or mom that is the abuser.) And if one partner is abusive the other can pick up those tendencies too. I know so, I was beginning to grow in toxicity with anger until God broke my heart to the destruction I was causing my children.
Whenever there is alcohol, porn, food, drugs, gaming, or gambling addictions, plus perfectionism, and people pleasing within a home, sin grows. (There are many more addictions.) Addictions are like a BIG dark snowball. As it expands, so does denial from the one that is the addict.
BUT, the time comes, when the BLACK snowball of sin will explode, if one of you wants to live in the truth of life and light.
Now, the addict may cover and cower and hide, especially if it is pornography, yet the damage and destruction is far and wide. I can paint the destructive picture well.
My children, whom I love, were entangled within the marriage of abuse. Something that brought great pain to them, I am certain. And certainly to me.
It was while raising my children that I KNEW things were sick and wrong in my marriage.
- So how do you go forward as a mom, or as a couple, with your adult child or children if they are spitting and spewing toxicity upon you?
- How do you let go of the sadness that wants to consume you?
- How do you let go of missing the relationship you desperately expected or wanted?
Questions are normal to ask.
The first thing I want you to know, your life purpose does not count on whether your child or children give you the time of day. Your breath comes from Father GOD. He allows you life and has a life purpose for you.
Second, your acceptance card does not come from your child texting you and/or affirming how wonderful of a mom you are or were. That is not where your stamp of approval or worth comes from.
Yes, you may have poured all your years, from your 20’s and 30’s and 40’s out into your child or children. Yet, to have a relationship with another human being, even a family member is a choice. We cannot force that. If we try to force it, we negate it.
So if you are stuck in this break of a relationship, only you can choose to respond and to grow healthier mentally, emotionally, and/or relationally.
Do you need to learn to live without his or her approval?
Do you need to bridge your identity with the Lord’s and who He says you are and let your children do their life?
Do you need to learn to be kind with your tongue, but truth filled?
If any of these resonate and you want to move from where you are, to where you want to be, free and loving, and focused on your life purpose, consider being coached. Do you have grief work to work through and to step forward? IF so, I recommend this coaching package to help you grieve, learn, and then to step forward with your life purpose. .Learn to live beyond emotional pain!
The worst thing you can do is wait and to put your life on hold based on someone else’s reactions. Life goes fast.
Will you seek help to grow you?
